I've decided that my theme song just might be Brittany Spears' "Whoops I Did It Again". Not because I 'played with' someone's heart (as the lyrics go), but because I constantly seem to be doing stupid or questionable (such as 'have you lost your mind?' kind of questionable) things over and over again. Each time this happens, Brit appears before me, pointing her finger, wiggling her arse, sometimes she has hair, sometimes not, but always she's singing at me "Whoops I Did It Again", and she always has a devilish look on her face. Like she's enjoying the whole process.
Take this morning, for instance, when I got out of the shower, looked in the mirror and realised that this was yet another morning that I intended to wash my hair, and forgot - simply because I was watching the clock, frantic to get showered and ready before I got my Cherub up (read 'dragged him out of bed kicking and screaming') and ready for school.
As the oil from my hair almost literally drained away down my neck, in waltzed Brit, making a tsk tsk sound with her tongue, and following up with my theme song: "Whoops I Did It Agehhhn".
Close the front door without taking the house keys with me? "Whoops I Did It Agehhhn".
Stopped mid-sentence, forgotting completely what I was saying? "Whoops I Did It Agehhhn".
Referred to the cat by the Cherub's name and vice versa? "Whoops I Did It Agehhhn".
There comes Brit, in all her glory, following me around like some kind of creepy shadowy stalker, simply to rub it in when I mess up.....again.
And again.
And again.
And agehhhhn.
I am currently doing a liver cleansing detox (as those of you who have already read previous posts will know). I must say that I am going better on this than I thought I would. What I actually mean by that, is that I haven't COMPLETELY fallen off the wagon.
I had expected by now that I would have been very much over the healthy eating plan, but no, I am still plugging along, albeit at a lesser pace than I took it for the first two weeks. These were the weeks when I was almost obsessive about what I ate (or didn't), what I drank (or didn't), when I used the toilet for number ones (get out the book, write it down), or number twos (get out the book, write it down)....you get my drift.
What I realised was that I felt sooooo much better with my new eating plan, that it was something that I want to continue pretty much forever, so I am in fact still juicing every morning (and we're talking carrot, cucumber, broccoli, beetroot, kale, celery - none of which is mixed with citrus because that causes the enzymes to break down. Good, ain't I?) and still eating wholesome, raw food in the main. BUT....I am now having a few coffees each day (was ready to go postal without my caffeine fix) and am also having meat for dinner. And, once a week I have my 'breakout' meal, where I don't worry whether it's cooked or not, greasy or not, good for me or not!
But this is where I stop myself - one breakout meal a week, the rest 'mostly good'. I do feel better for it, and am quite proud of myself.
But, of course, every now and then one does indeed fall completely off the wagon. This was the case for me last week when I was on a week's holiday, and had a few days away with Glenn and my Cherub. Healthy eating? Screw that. No wine? Screw that even further. I was living it up with bakery treats each day, wine at night, roast meat/sausages on the barby for dinner, gravy, DESSERT - you name it, if I could find it, I ate it. And I didn't give a rat's razoo what it was.
And that's where that bitch Brit comes back into the story. Because when I first fell off the wagon while I was away, and was tucking into the pre-dinner nibblies of crackers and dips, that little cow came walking into the kitchen and stood by my table wriggling her arse and singing "Whoops I Did It Agehhhn". What a bitch. Not even letting me enjoy my time away from the day to day boring life (and food) that is my reality. Not even letting me just relax a little. She had to be there, rubbing it in, making me feel like I'd messed up yet "agehhhhn".
Thankfully, Joe Dolce followed close behind her, gave her a slap and said "Ah Shaddup Your Face!".
Hooray for Joe, that's all I can say.
Talk later
Janeane
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