Thirty one - a poem for my Dad

Look at you, see your smile
As I come through the door.
A new life and part of your world.
Look at me, oh so tiny
Such challenges ahead
Your ‘Bub’, your last little girl.

Look at me, I’m a child
As you come home again
At the end of a hard working day.
Look at you, the provider
Though hugs may be scarce
You work hard, you provide, that’s your way.

Look at me, I’m a teenager
Full of angst and of worry
With my anger and all of my tears.
Look at you, you’re bewildered
You simply can’t explain
Why I’m like this in my middle years!

Look at you, see the fear
As you look at your daughter
When she tells you she just wants to die.
Look at me, I am sorry
I wish I could change it
But I can’t, and continue to cry.

Look at you, see your strength
And you pass it towards me
And you help me come out from the black.
Look at you, you’re so wise;
In another direction
You point me, and set me on track.

Look at us as you walk me
On my special day
When I go to become someone’s wife.
Look at me, so relieved
When you tell me it's OK
That I ended that part of my life.

Look at you, you are angry
(It is seeded from love)
And you just cannot understand why
The daughter you love
Has a son who is different.
You’re confused but continue to try.

Look at me, as I sit
And I ponder the past
I remember the times that we’ve had.
I think of the future
(How you’re bound to annoy me!)
A complex thing – ‘Daughter’ and ‘Dad’.

Look at you, you’re so ill
As I wipe down your forehead
In the last days you spend on this earth.
Look at me, I’m bereft
For it’s now that you’re gone
That I truly realise all your worth.

Look at us, as we search
Through the old photographs
And I try to impart what you knew.
Look at him, at your grandson
I very much mourn
That they years he had with you were few.

Bur because we are yours,
Ours are yours, theirs are yours;
With each name that we add to the roll,
For ever and ever
And long after that –
Your descendants will carry your soul.