Twenty Nine - Boyfriends and Girlfriends

I have been seeing my Glenn now for five years. FIVE years, that's important to remember for part of this story.

We took the early days very slowly, and my Cherub didn't acutally meet Glenn until we'd been seeing each other for six months. This was to allow both myself and Glenn to decide whether this thing was actually worth pursuing, and also to not throw my Cherub into any sort of 'deep end' when it came to Mum's new relationship.

It has all gone very well, the boys both like each other, and Glenn has been fantastic in dealing with my Cherub's challenges, and really good at supporting me through the harder times of parenting.

My Cherub and I have had one or two conversations over the years regarding my relationship with Glenn, mostly the 'reassuring' kind, where he has said that his biggest worry is that we will 'keep on loving each other and get married'. As I have told him, there ain't no worry about that Mate, your mother isn't going down THAT track again!!! And this has seemed to settle any concerns he has on that score.

The other conversation cropped up a couple of years ago, when my Cherub first asked the question "Is Glenn your boyfriend?". My answer was truthful - "Well, I'm too old to have a 'boyfriend', when you're a grownup you tend to call them your 'partner'". This, taken by an autistic boy VERY literally, was the catalyst for a pretty funny situation yesterday.

Glenn is sprucing up his house in order to sell it soon. Yesterday when we were there, he was painting a door, and the following conversation ensued:

Cherub: What are you doing that for?
Glenn: I'm getting the house ready so that I can sell it.
Cherub: What are you selling your house for?
Glenn: Well, it's really too big for me now. This big house is just too big for one person.
Cherub: Well then, you should get yourself a girlfriend!

A helpful suggestion of course, except that it kind of threw Glenn a little given that he has had a girlfriend (that would be me) for the last five years.

Glenn: Another one? But I have your Mujm
Cherub: Hahahahaha. She's not your girlfriend!!!

Oh dear.

Thoughts of denial by Cherub about my relationship, and cracks in the setup started to run through my head. Until I had a chat with my Cherub about the above conversation and realised that I had told him a couple of years ago that Glenn was my 'partner', and my Cherub had taken that to mean that he wasn't my 'boyfriend'!

So, I cleared that one up by explaining that they were two words that meant the same thing.

But then I decided that I should explore it all a little more this evening, to make sure all was well with the world. (and this is where it gets even funnier)

Tonight we were having an evening cuddle before Cherub went off to bed. You know the scene, cuddles and a chat about the day (we do this every night).

And the conversation went like this:

Me: Do we need to talk about this whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing again, are you OK with what we talked about this morning? Is anything bothering you?
Cherub: Well.....one thing is bothering me.
Me: What's that then?
Cherub: I don't want you and Glenn doing that S-E-X thing.

OH...MY...GOD.

Now, this most probably arises from the fact that about six months ago the Cherub actually WALKED IN on Glenn and I doing the S-E-X thing. It's another story, but I thought I had dealt with it at the time. (Cherub's psychiatrist can deal with that issue now as far as I am concerned)

So, I decided this evening to take the serious, sensible route (whoops, no pun intended) and opened up the discussion about how adults who care a lot about each other do in fact have sex, that it's quite normal, and a way of showing how much they care about each other. It's a private thing, but it means that Glenn and I care about each other a lot, OK?

To which my Cherub replied: You ARE taking condoms aren't you Mum?

Well, quite frankly it was lucky that I was already lying down, because I think I had a heart attack.

After some quiet moments of thought (in reality my brain was going "WTF?!?!?! Where did THAT come from???) I realised that apart from the fact that the context in which he said 'taking condoms' was HYSTERICALLY FUNNY, there was possibly something more serious at play here.

School have started the health classes this year; I was under the impression that all they are discussing at the moment is relationships and personal hygiene. Buuuut.....maybe not. Of course there is always the possibility that one of the other Cherubs in the class has brought up the subject of the rubber raincoats during health class.

So, as a very conscientious parent, I very seriously said to my Cherub "Have you been discussing condoms in class? Is that where you have heard about them?"

To which my Cherub replied: "No, from Seinfeld"

Here endeth tonight's health lesson.

Talk again later

Janeane
xx